Well here it goes, I’ve finally come up with my first 10 11 goals for the list of 100 I’d like to complete. This list may change and it will definitely grow as I think of new items. Just think of this as my starter list:
10. Save $1000 toward moving expenses so I can finally leave Seattle.
11. Figure out where I would rather live. (Just thought up this one on the fly, lol.)
And for the record, I’m printing out my passport forms as I type. Lol Please feel free to join me! I would love to see some of the goals you have in mind, so if you have a blog just leave a link to it in the comments so I can check it out. Lets work together to make our goals into realities.
On December 28, 2010, I signed up for Weight Watchers. After months of hearing Jennifer Hudson sing about her new “urms” and new life, I was finally convinced I needed to do something. So I signed up and began what I decided would be a complete lifestyle change. Not a New Years resolution or a diet, but a chance to re-train myself on how to eat so that I could make healthier choices for a lifetime. I was ready and motivated. Something had to give and I figured anything had to be better than being miserable and 330 lbs.
For the first 2 months it was smooth sailing. I loved the way Weight Watchers wasn’t restrictive when it came to exactly what to eat. They just gave me guidelines to follow. The style of the program was perfectly in line with something my mom has always said and I’ve always believed, “all things in moderation”. I lost 2 lbs in the first 3 days, and I never felt hungry or deprived. I was exercising, eating healthier foods, and feeling great about my progress. I’ve been plus sized since middle school and I had never seen anything work for me weight loss wise. I always attributed that to a lack of actual dedication to any weight loss plans I may have had. My diet plans mainly consisted of telling myself I was going to stop eating fast food as I sat in the drivethru at my local McDonald’s. I mean, one more double quarter pounder couldn’t hurt, right? But something just felt different this time. I was tired of making excuses and pushing it off until a later date as I watched my life pass me by. Watching the pounds drop on the scale made me feel good. Like I could conquer the world. Like all those hours of “Zumba”-ing and dancing around with the kids at my mom’s daycare were paying off.
Then it happened. What I had been secretly expecting and dreading. Right around the beginning of month three I hit a brick wall. A sudden and unexpected break up sent me spiraling back into old habits and comfort foods. I was miserable, unable to understand what happened. It was like bam, with no warning at all, he just disappeared. Worry turned into anger which then turned into hurt and then came the binge. Luckily I managed not to gain back any weight but I saw a definite effect on my weight loss. It slowed down significantly and with it my motivation began to dwindle.
I am just now getting back on track with my diet and exercise and learning how to cope with how my emotions directly connect to my eating habits. I cannot allow my feelings to cause me to make decisions that are detrimental to my health. I liken it to people who physically hurt themselves when they feel down. I was doing something harmful to my body by overeating, and though the effects may not be as immediately apparent, the damage is even worse. The list of health conditions that are directly related to obesity is ridiculously long! Darn near any condition you can think of is either caused or exacerbated by obesity. I want better for myself, and no matter what emotions I may be feeling in a moment, the results of overeating to ease the pain are not worth the temporary gratification.
So today did my weigh in and my total weight loss so far is 35 lbs. From the beginning I have said this is a lifestyle change, so every setback in this journey is just a hurdle to overcome. Just like any other that I will face in life, it’s not a reason to give up and throw in the towel or to revert to old habits permanently. We all fall down from time to time. This is just me dusting myself off and getting back up.
I guess I should start this thing off with an introduction. Hi! My name is Tracey and I am a 25 year old woman in transition. I feel like I’ve spent the last 15 years living life as someone I’m not and I just want to take this opportunity to correct that mistake. This is where I will chronicle my journey.
What you will find here is me chronicling my life journey. I wanted an actual record of my growth and change that I could reference later on and hopefully that will help me actually begin living my life “like it’s golden”. At this point I feel like I am on several seperate journeys that all culminate into my main journey which is just life itself. The smaller journeys that I am currently embarking on are my weight loss journey and my natural hair journey, but the most important specific journey I’m taking is one of self discovery and acceptance. Please feel free to join me and share your input when you feel so inclined! Thank you for stopping by and I hope I can keep it interesting for you!
